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Throwback no Thursday



Reflection


May 7, 2014


As if matters couldn't get any worse. I am now homeless and just found out the payment I received for unemployment for today will be my last. Not to forget to mention it wasn't a full payment. No I’m not homeless as in living on the streets. Homeless with the retrospect that I now do not have a place to live to call my own. After various job lay offs and loss. I now have embraced the decision that I am unable to continue to afford to live in my apartment. This is definitely a difficult as well as an embarrassing pill to swallow. My goal in life has always been to reach independence. Once I left Wilson for college my vision for myself and kid at the time was to be successful enough to stand on my own two feet. No, I wasn’t evicted or asked to leave, I made the decision to leave MY PLACE once my lease was expired. Lord what do I do now????????????? I know you said you would never put more on me than I can bare. I need you to pour into my heart a feeling of peace and to help me remain sane and focused on Your glory. This is definitely a hard pill to swallow. I know you will never leave nor forsake me and my greater is coming!!!



Fast forward to 4 years later!!!


February 27, 2019


Wow I’m officially receiving the keys to a place to call home that belongs to my boys and I!! Omg I feel nervous and excited all in the same moment. Sometimes God has to strip things from us in order to eliminate stress that we would carry much longer. I had been on my own since the age of 17 years old but in the midst of those years I struggled and obviously needed time to reflect and balance my life. To say it’s been a breeze would be lying however, I’ve been blessed through the struggle. I’ve learned to never judge someone because of where they reside or the place they are in life. The jokes I’ve heard about others moving back home or falling upon tough times has a new meaning. One of the reasons we struggle as people is due to pride! God has a way of humbling you and protecting you. I’ve contemplated relocating and running away from what was my destiny here in Wilson so many times. Everytime I tried to leave something intercepted my move. I’m no longer focused or concerned with what others think of me. I’m thankful that my four years of dependency has brought so many blessings. To wake up daily and be able to be under one roof with family who sincerely loves me and assistance in the home with my boys has been far more rewarding. There were times ,through my depression ,my loving mother and grandmother encouraged me and taught me life lessons. I used to be hard on myself because here I am a grown woman with two children in my grandparents home. Who knew God would allow my atmosphere to be conducive to prayer and countless days of waking up to breakfast and family who was proud of me during my struggle. I’m so blessed and excited to be on my own again! Mostly I’m refreshed and much better mentally! I was able to reside with my grandfather during his last years of life as well as, through his illness that led to his passing! God makes no mistakes! Fear surely begin to set in but prayer superseded. Trust the process through any struggle! God is gonna blow your mind!! This is just the beginning for us!!


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